The Olympics Are Messing Up My TV Schedule: a short diatribe on why lats and glutes win the gold in 2012.

Yes, Michael Phelps, we hear you. You don’t want to watch another race of some laps and the same stroke as the last three races? I mean, another World Record, really? Every time. p: KansasCity.com

I am not a huge fan of watching the Olympics. While I respect and admire the athleticism and dedication of the competitors, I find it less than mildly interesting to root for people based on nationality. Plus, it upsets the entire TV schedule. I don’t watch much television, but sometimes I would just like to watch a rerun of “Up All Night” (Maya Rudolph, Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, and breakout Jennifer Hall? I mean, seriously.) And finally, there’s just too much swimming shown. I get it. There’s approximately 600 swimming races and all of the same people compete in all of them and that famous swimmer with big feet was supposed to win all of them and now he’s going to be bummed post-Olympics because it’s all over (read: bye expensive endorsements deals). Boring.

But, this summer, despite my “Scrooge of the Olympics” disposition, I have been watching a little of The Games each night and have been enjoying myself. Work’s been pretty crazy lately, so watching the primetime Olympic TV coverage has been relaxing, I guess. And, in all honesty, gymnastics and synchronized diving are pretty insane and visually intriguing with the control the athletes have to contort their bodies. But, I digress. This isn’t a diatribe on which sports I do or do not like to spectate. This is to point out what I think is the most interesting part of the Olympics: the physiques. Seriously. If you have watched NBC at all in the last week, you have witnessed some of the most muscular women and men in the world. In high-def, the muscles ripple out of the screen as if to say, “hello, how is that slice of pizza you are eating right now? I haven’t had lactose since ’06.”

This is what you’ve been waiting for, correct? No, not me either. photo: Getty/TooFab

But, while the folks strutting around Olympic Village have low body fat ratios and probably drink smoothies for most of their meals, it isn’t a sexual-ogling that is taking place in my living room. It’s more mechanical; I am jaw-dropped at how the muscles take over their bodies. The broad shoulders of the swimmers, the traps and quads of the gymnasts–these people’s bodies are so hard-trained, it’s pretty mind-blowing (and always makes me wonder about the transformation that happens when they retire from their sport). While I was checking one of my favorite, sarcasm-laden web sites, Jezebel, I came across a great, short piece on Olympic photography pertaining to athletic disciplines. Apparently, the female beach volleyball players are a favorite of photographers, but the photos that Getty Images has been taking are slightly different and more butt-centric than other sports.

Butts. p: Getty/Metro NY

In a very interesting post, Metro NY decided to crop photos from other sports and see what would happen if every discipline was captured in the same way as volleyball. The resulting shots are pretty hilarious, check them out here. However you like to partake in the experience of the Olympics, enjoy these entertaining images.